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In a culture that’s already squeamish when it comes to talking about our bodily functions, to greater extremes, bottoms anxious about a night of intercourse might even resort to starving themselves before sex. The idea that bottoms “need to” or “should be” adjusting their choices for a cleaner sexual experience inspired a viral meme: a picture of a plate of ice cubes accompanied by a knife and fork. The goal of all this is not necessarily six-pack abs, but anxiety-free sex. That diet usually involves a regulated intake that avoids rich foods including meat and dairy, cuts out cruciferous vegetables and other bloat-inducing foods, preps before sex with anal douching, and mixes in generous helpings of the fiber supplement Pure for Men. He adheres to what some degradingly call the “bottom’s diet” - a restrictive way of eating specifically designed to attempt to avoid what the community calls a “mess” in the bedroom when on the receiving end of anal sex. It made more sense as I watched his Instagram grid populate with Fire Island group shots featuring other cisgender gay males with rippling six-packs and short-shorts. I didn’t understand at the time, but toxic gay diet culture had already reached him. In the mornings he would religiously drink a green vegetable puree that was so foul that I spat it out in the sink when he shared it with me. Though we were closeted in high school, we are both out now, him, a gay male, and me, a nonbinary dyke.Īs we planned out meals for the trip, he shot down my requests for Balthazar and Momofoku, instead making a midday reservation for a now-shuttered Meatpacking District restaurant where his favorite dish was thinly sliced squash on porous pancakes.
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Our Southern California teen years were characterized by getting high and driving to the famed restaurant the Hat, where the god-tier order is the stacked pastrami dip, onion rings, and an Orange Bang. Years ago, I visited my high school beard, who lives in New York City, for a long weekend of fun that I thought would center food.